Yawn..

Just had my first 24 hours +++ without sleep yesterday. Or was it the day before. Not sleeping makes it hard to count the days.. but it was basically Friday morning 5 am to Saturday. Damned section live firing, took so long to conduct, especially with the pretty pointless rehearsals. The night shoot ended at about 2.30, they marched back to coy line while I fell out, took the tonner and got back later at 3.30, only to clean rifle till 4.30 and wait till 5.15 before we were allowed to go up to bunk and fall in at 6 for breakfast. Lol, I was so tired and dirty I took a shower that lasted nearly 20 minutes XD and after breakfast, they told us to do area cleaning for an inspection which never came in the end. Instead, the instruction suddenly became change to civilian and fall in in 5 minutes for book out at about 7+ which finally marked the end to our official 26 hours of no sleep.

Amazing what it does to you, I went to the extent that I no longer felt sleepy and have a pretty vivid recollection of all the events from the time the nightshoot ended onwards. I probably was starting to run on adrenaline by then. And it did help that I had a class outing to look forward to. And yes, much thanks to Mervin and Yiwen I think for helping to organise it after I brought it up and disappeared for an entire day.

I quite enjoyed the outing actually, despite the change of plans and all. Eventually there was Miki, Mervin, Yiwen, Cherie, Hui Zhen, Christina and Woo Han and we settled down at Timbre at the Arts House where we had pizza, wings and some drinks (mocktails, which cost me more than the nice food<>.<>) and a pretty good time catching up. Somehow I can't remember to clearly what we talked about but I remember the whole thing was quite fun and relaxing. Haha, and we caught a bit of Mr Siva's band just before we left too.

And now I'm back to doing some last minute blogging before I go off again. Haiz. It's a good short week ahead, only 3 days long and there's a good chance of a paintball outing on labour day too. But then it's also the week of exercise grandslam. As the highlight of the course, it's supposed to be an appetizer to a war and is going to be filled with missions, enemy "attacks" (NS guys read contacted) and probably even more sleep deprivation. Haiz.

But it also marks the beginning of the end of course, where I'll pass out as a corporal and hopefully get a slack vocation. The future is once again looking uncertain and I'm starting to think about it unnecessarily again. I really hate to chiong suah and march like nobody's business, and it's so tempting to try and down pes or something, especially since my neck's hurting again. Which reminds me, my physio suggested that I get an excuse helmet. Only problem is, I'm supposed to go get that excuse myself.. Right. Easier said than done, especially with all the consequences.

Haiz, right, enough of this. It's 3 days back in good ol' Tekan Tekong before 4 days of rest, a paintball outing and my mini lbv! So hopefully it won't be so bad and see ya' all then!

Eugene remembered @ 4:58 PM

Sleep In Silence Please Encik Can?

lol.. I really need my sleep.. Really regretted choosing to do laundry instead of sleeping last night. Now after field camp, navex and a lack of sleep.. I'm down with so much minor problems here and there, it's starting to take a toll and I didn't dare to tell the doc everything lest he thinks I'm trying to chao keng. Haiz.. Nevertheless, I did get some medicine and it didn't cost me a cent. =D

Sadly I'm going back in tomorrow morning.. Rawr.. last week of my 3 week stretch without a proper book out. Then grandslam. Then the bumper labour day weekend! And pretty much slack stuff after that for the next 2 weeks till end of course. Ah, can't wait to finish this..

But for now I really want my sleep.. Sigh.. I'm going to go buy myself a teddy bear next weekend to celebrate. Lol, then the following week I shall get him the mini LBV. Haha, PTE Teddy! Ok, I actually know a PTE Teddy so he'll need another name. Ah, that can wait. I think my brain's messed up already. For now, it's the end of visiting lower mandai and finding trees in forests for the rest of BSLC! Hopefully I get a nice non chiong suah posting, and now it's time to go get some sleep to prepare for this last leg of my 3 week "confinement"! Good night!

Eugene remembered @ 10:54 PM

.zZz.

The army never seems to fail to give me new experiences and today I must say that I've never felt more tired in my life so far. Just managed to only get in excess of 3 hours of sleep last night. I'm so tired, I'm having a bit of difficulty balancing while walking -.- Really cui already haiz.. But nevertheless, looking back on the amount of sleep I've gotten in the past week, I realise that yes, army training is indeed progressive as they constantly remind us. I had about 5 hours of sleep on sunday night, 6 on monday, 5 on tues, 4 on weds and finally 3 last night. Ok, to be fair based on the stipulated lights out time, the amount of sleep we're supposed to get is about half an hour to one hour more than what i got, but it's generally a challenge to meet the lights out timing in my opinion.

Yea, I've been whining about my sleep for almost the whole week now and I'm starting to get a bit worried. I've still got approximately 1 year, 6 months and 28 days before this shit ends and already I'm starting to be unable to take it. Don't know how I'm going to make the rest of my time a decent one. I'm so tempted to start to relax one corner and just keng or slack the rest of my way through.. But at the same time I really don't want NS to be a waste of time so I got to keep pushing myself haiz.. Perseverance can only get you through, it doesn't make the journey any easier, attitude does. But how do you change your attitude just like that?

Anyway, I'm booking back in tonight to catch up on sleep for my duty tomorrow so this is more of a nights off than a book out for me haha. But I really hope things get better.. I can't imagine surviving on such little sleep for the rest of the course..<>.<>

On a side note, BLAZE on monday was surprisingly fun. Lol, surprising enough that I'm blogging it down as a note to remember. Haha, that said, going for that session has made me realise that at present I'm still not good enough yet, so I think my journey stops here. For now, I've got to try and regain control of my life. But then again, is this something I should change or accept? If only I knew. Hmm..

Eugene remembered @ 7:29 PM

Here we go!

It's finally starting! The most intensive part of this phase of my training is about to begin and will stretch all the way to the bumper labour day weekend holiday. Haha, sadly that means that it'll be about 3 weeks with either no book out or less than 24 hour book outs.. Oh well.. I shouldn't be writing this actually.. There's something more important that I ought to be doing which I can't bring myself to do just yet.

That reminds me of an article about this guy who played instead of studying for an easily manageable but important exam and went on to fail it. When asked whether the satisfaction gained from playing was greater than doing well in the exam, he said no and couldn't rationalise why he chose to play instead. Haha, I feel like that sometimes.. Like right now.. I need something to give me a kick to get started.. Maybe when the stress of time constrain builds up enough ba..<>.<>Ok, that sounds sick but wtv..

I tried to get my SAFRA membership which I submitted the form and fax before april 1st to avoid the 50 dollar fee hike and when I went all the way down, I was told that I've never applied before! Great. Excellent. Outstanding. Damn those idiots. First they have a lousy online application form that requires you to manually fax documents over and now they tell me this. Seriously, if not for the chalets and the otherwise pretty affordable membership fees, I'd give up on this crap..

Eugene remembered @ 6:36 PM

More not so random musings

Yay, booking out on a Friday totally rocks. Suddenly you have a real weekend to look forward to and it proved to be not too bad with a class outing today. Fine, so only yiwen, miki, richard, woo han, nandita and angie went in the end, but still not too bad a turn out in my opinion. Plus the food at Popeye's was quite nice too, especially the cajun fries which reminds me of A&W. I also finally tried TCC for the first time and eh.. the mocha villa not bad lah, but a bit too ex liao, especially since my allowance so sad..

Anyway as usual with all outings with a group of guys in recent history, there's always talk about NS and today wasn't too different and once again it got me thinking again. Lol, I just can't help it, this whole NS thing is taking up the next 1 year 6 months and 4 days of my life, so adopting and maintaining the right attitude towards this thing that will make it that much more pleasant is quite important.

Haha, so the more I think about it, the more I realise that what really bugs me the most is the lack of freedom and lack of contact with the outside world. So far the last 2 weeks have been pretty good with the free time that allowed me the chance to strike a rather decent balance between civi and military life, but now that the weekend is ending and I'm looking at a looong stretch with tonnes of burnt weekends... I feel kinda sian again. Sigh, must work doubly hard to maintain that fragile balance and keep my morale up. Lol, must get more sleep too. The lack of sleep takes a greater toll on my happiness level more than almost anything else sadly<>.<>That said, I think I shall start working on it now.. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow. Still got that presentation to prepare!!

Eugene remembered @ 11:58 PM

IPPT

Argh.. Just had my IPPT categorisation test today and alas, I missed gold by a bit... really a bit.. like a few seconds only damn. Lol, finally managed to break the 10 barrier.. now if only I can bring it down a little bit more.. Shall aim to break 9 before I ORD!! Rawrr..

But as a consolation, I might just be able to book out this Friday if our OC doesn't change his mind. Heh, what they say about being commanders and having to speak out is true sia.. Yesterday one of the instructors told us only Gold can book out, the rest all need to stay for corrective training this sat, but today we tried our luck and just asked OC if silver can or not and yay he agreed!

Wahaha, I really want this early book out sia.. One last chance to relax before the craziness starts.. For roughly the next 3 weeks that follow, I'll probably book out for less than 24 hours each time and this is assuming I don't get confined lol. Talk about SISPEC living up to it's name..<>.<>

Eugene remembered @ 8:30 PM