The art of saying no

Sigh.. I'm failing in human relations. Sadly to date I'm still unable to say no with firmness and gentleness. It's easy with friends cause they understand; it's easy when there's a strong reason; it's easy when there's a higher order; it's easy when they don't matter.

But when they ain't exactly understanding and there's a need to maintain a good relation for future collaboration, I can't seem to do it properly. At best I become stubborn and at worst I feel my dignity being insulted.

Bah, it's so easy in theory: understand their scenario, explain your reasons or say that you have a reason that's personal and you wish for it to be respected, say no without feeling sorry or guilty, perhaps suggest a future collaboration.

Simple enough.

Now what if the other party isn't as understanding? Look for a win-win alternative? Sometimes things are so simple that there's only yes, no and no third approach. Then what? The Seven Habits suggests going for no deal then, so that both can agree to disagree this time and try again for something else next time. Yea, perfect, assuming that both parties have the same mindset. Otherwise one takes offence and there goes any future collaboration.

What then? Unless... that's a sign that future collaboration wouldn't be worth it in the first place... But then that just doesn't sound right given that we're all interdependent. Or does that come with exceptions too?

zzz Must and will improve in this area by year's end.

Eugene remembered @ 10:14 PM